This Bitch Is Crazy!!! (Part 1)

You won't believe this shit, but this bimbo bitch on my job emailed me the message below:

----- Original Message -----
Sent: Wed Dec 19 16:28:09 2007
Subject: A good man

Do you have any friends that are single and looking? I am trying to hook my very, strikingly beautiful cousin up with a "good man". Here are some items I decided should be number one on her list. The number two items will follow tomorrow.

1. loves GOD
1. loves himself & family
1. hard working
1. takes a stand for what is right
1. Disease free - past & present
1. heterosexual
1. monogamous or at least capable of being in a monogamous relationship
1. confident but not egotistical
1. emotionally mature
1. family oriented
1. considerate and respectable of herself and other family members
1. recognizes she is the best thing since Beyonce
1. is not selfish
1. is patience
1. has integrity
1. stick s to his word
1. respects himself
1. doesn't play games
1. sincere
1. just wanna have fun
1. spontaneous
1. smart
1. good conversationalist
1. fun loving
1. no risky behavior (sexually or other ways)
1. no abuse issue (drugs, children, women, self-abuse)
1. very generous with his money when it come to the important people in his life
1. creative
1. dependable
1. trustworthy

WOULD BE NICE TO HAVE BUT NOT A "MUST HAVE"
1. makes good money
1. good looking
1. good build
1. has a nice car
1. has a nice house
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This was my 'polite' response:

-----Original Message-----
Sent: Thursday, December 20, 2007 7:55 AM
Subject: Re: A good man

Sorry I can't help u out. The long list is why your cousin is single!!!

Did she give this list to Santa? Maybe he can help her!?!

Good luck!!!!!!!

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Nice reply...huh?

Believe me, thats not what the fuck I was thinking...at all! I have a question for you. If a man had all of these qualities WHY THE FUCK WOULD HE BE SINGLE??? I think her 'airhead' cousin should buy a pussy cat and get used to life as a "spinster" (which is an eloquent way of saying 'ole maid')

She deserves to be alone for the holidays. I should buy her a box tissues and a case of batteries so she can masturbate and cry herself to sleep every night!!!

The 'pocket rocket' will be the only long-term relationship she'll ever have!!

And I bet my balls on that one!!!